Promises I Can Count On

As I was going through my morning routine today, getting ready for work, the Lord spoke a scripture to my heart.  I stopped what I was doing, and I looked it up - Proverbs 3:6.  After reading that one scripture, I went to the top of the chapter and read it in its entirety.  With joy in my heart, tears on my face and the presence of God in my room, I realized that Proverbs 3 contained promises that my Father wanted to give to me.

There are 16 promises in Proverbs 3...just as there are 16 things that I need to do to obtain those promises! After some research, I found that the number 16 in Biblical Numerology is identified with things that deal with love, passion, things we hold dear, cherish and devote ourselves to.  Here’s how this chapter lines up in my mind (scripture reference in parenthesis):

What Do I Need To Do?	What Are His Promises?
Don’t forget His laws (1)	Long life (2)
Keep His commandments (1)	Added peace (2)
Don’t lose grip on His mercy (3)	Favor of God and those I interact with (4)
Don’t leave truth (3)	Direction for my life (6)
Trust Him wholeheartedly (5)	Health (8)
Acknowledge Him (6)	Increase and prosperity (10)
Don’t think you can outsmart God (7)	He will delight in me (12)
Pay your tithing (9)	Happiness (13)
Allow God to correct your life (11)	Riches (16)
Use wisdom in all things (21)	Honor (16)
Be discreet (21)	Pleasant attitude (17)
Be confident (23)	Confidence (26)
Don’t be afraid of fear itself (25)	Protection (26)
Give others credit when due (27)	Blessings (33)
Be kind to others (29)	Grace (34)
Don’t envy (31)	Inherit glory (15)

 With God on my side, how can I lose?  Every promise in His word is true, and every one of them can be mine! Every one of them can be yours too! It is exciting to me to know that I have a Father who wants the very best for me.  My earthly father was an incredible man who loved me with every fiber of his being.  He made promises to me…and kept most of them; he truly was a man of his word.  But, my daddy was human – he made mistakes just like the rest of us.  How much the more does my heavenly Father love me? And my daddy would be the first to tell you that Jesus will always keep His promises.  He would quickly tell you that he was just a man, but Jesus was THE man.

I can go through my day confident that God will stay true to His word.  Even when I fail Him, He allows me the opportunity to pick myself back up, brush the dust from my knees and start walking again.  I hold His promises dear to me; I cherish them.  I have devoted my life to His instructions so that I may obtain His promises.

**Heavenly Father, thank you for the promises

That you have offered to us in your word.

It’s such a good feeling to know that you

Love us the way that you do. 

So much that you died on an old rugged cross

Just so that we could have all of these promises!

Help me to follow your path and do the things

That you have instructed me to do

To inherit your promises.

Thank you for loving me in spite of me.

Thank you for allowing me chance after chance

To get back up and start afresh with you.

Your mercies are new every morning,

And for that I am so grateful!

You are a gracious Father...Amen**

Unconditional Love

A song we sing at church keeps rolling over and over in my mind..."it's so easy to love you, it's so easy to love you, it's so easy to love you, 'cause you're my friend."  There are two parts to that song that stand out to me...the first is that it really IS so easy to love Him.  The second is that I am His friend...He calls me friend.

I looked up the word friend to find the true "technical" definition of the word.  A friend is a "person who is attached to another by feelings of affection; a person who gives assistance, a supporter; a person who is on good terms with another, not hostile."  As I began to read through these definitions, with this song rolling over and over in my head, I couldn't help but identify those descriptors with many people in my life.  I know the song, in particular, is referring to the fact that it is so easy to love Jesus, but He also makes it very explicit in His word that we are to love others as well.  From the front to the back of the Bible, we are continually admonished to love.

The word "love" is a word that has been overused, misused, abused and even sometimes underused. I have been abundantly blessed with people in my life that I can truly say I love in every sense of the word.  My kids; my grandbaby; my family; many, many friends; there are even some people no longer in my life on a regular basis, that I can honestly say I love.  There are many different types of love: Erros (romantic), Philos (friendship) and Agape (unconditional).  As my mind began to run through the list of those I love, I could easily assign these categories to them. Of these three categories, the greatest type of love is Agape - unconditional.

How many of these people in my life do I have an "Agape" love for? How many can I truly say I love unconditionally? And what does "unconditional" really mean? As I began to search my heart and focus on these terms, I knew exactly what it means.  To love someone unconditionally means to love them without boundaries, with no limitations, regardless of the rights or the wrongs, agreements or disagreements.  Unconditional, Agape, love strips away the negative thoughts, emotions and feelings.  It doesn't keep record of any wrongs done or attempt to avenge any slights.  Put in those terms, do we really display Agape love to those around us? Do we let those we love know how much we love them? Do we wait until it is too late to show our love?

As I asked myself these questions, and really began to focus my attention on this topic, I realized I probably don't do as good of a job as I should in showing unconditional love. I can assure you that I couldn't promise that I could love like Christ loved.  I don't know that I could give my only son to die on a cross for the sins of the world.  I couldn't imagine sacrificing my grand-baby to prove my love for someone else.  The good news is that the sacrifice has already been given.  But with that sacrifice was the shining example of unconditional love!  I don't believe that God intends for any of us to prove our love in literal terms of sacrificing our children or loved ones.  However, I do believe that many times there are things in our lives that we need to "sacrifice" to show others the depth of our love.  If we are to love like Christ loved the church, or to love our neighbor as ourselves - as we have been admonished in His Word, then we have to be willing to do whatever it takes to show unconditional love. I must say - I have been convicted.

**Father, I humbly come before you with a repentant heart.

Your word admonishes us time and time again to love;

The greatest attribute we can possess is the ability

to love as you have loved, with an Agape love.

Help me to show forth your love for those around me;

my family, my friends, my church family, my co-workers,

Help me to lead by example of what it really means

to love unconditionally - without limits.

Your love knows no limits, no boundaries.

In Jesus' Name I ask - Amen**

Greatest Love of All

The day had come and gone...a day that I dreaded...more so this year than any in the past...it was Valentine's Day.  To some that may sound like a negative statement, so before you judge what you think this blog is about, please take time to read it through.  Take a moment to hear my heart in the message.

As I sat at the kitchen table the night before Valentine's Day with my daughter and my son's girlfriend, we were talking about what everyone was planning for Valentine's Day. We talked about how overrated the day really is...you need to tell those you love every single day how much they mean to you.  As I walked away from the table that night, my heart and my mind were at war with each other.

I want so much out of life...I want God's will for my life, for my kids' lives, for my friends' lives.  I want to be God's will for someone special.  I realize that I have so very much to be thankful for...my kids, my precious grand-baby, my family, my church, my friends, my job...my heritage!  I have been so abundantly blessed.  On the flip side of that, though, days like Valentine's Day remind me of what I don't have...a terrible reminder of everything I feel that is missing in my life.  Oh sure, I could have had me a pity party...a "Non-Valentine's Day" party...but I had to shake myself out of that mindset and make a choice to move forward rejoicing in knowing I have the "Greatest Love of All."

Love never gives up.
Love cares more for others than for self.
Love doesn't want what it doesn't have.   

Love doesn't strut,
Doesn't have a swelled head,
Doesn't force itself on others,
Isn't always "me first,"
Doesn't fly off the handle,
Doesn't keep score of the sins of others,
Doesn't revel when others grovel,
Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth,
Puts up with anything,
Trusts God always,
Always looks for the best,
Never looks back,
But keeps going to the end.
I Corinthians 13 The Message

Can you imagine what life would be like if we all truly followed this passage and made it our life motto?  The world would be a much softer place; less hearts would be broken; fewer lives would be torn apart; more people would smile...the list is endless of all of the benefits we would reap.  The fact is that love would never become obsolete! 

**Lord, the love you have shown for me

is beyond my wildest imagination;

You gave your only son to die on an old rugged cross

JUST FOR ME!

As I journey through this life, I want to show love

to those around me.  I want to be a shining example

of how you love.

I want to have the kind of love that 

your word teaches in I Corinthians 13.

Teach me your ways, show me the path,

help me to become more like you.

In your name I ask...Amen** 

Patience for the Silence

Sometimes the challenges of life weigh us down so much, and we don't even feel like God is listening to us.  After all, He did say He wouldn't put more on us than we could bear, didn't He??  We pray, we cry out, we beg, we plead...silence.  Sometimes we even stomp our feet and shake our fist because we just want to hear something. We want to see something.  We want to feel something...silence, yet again.

I often feel like King David did when he penned the words in Psalm 13..."How long wilt thou forget me, O Lord? forever? how long wilt thou hide thy face from me? How long will you hide your face from me? How long must I wrestle with my thoughts and every day have sorrow in my heart? How long will my enemy triumph over me?  Look on me and answer, O Lord my God.  Give light to my eyes, or I will sleep in death." Wow...a desperate cry born out of disappointment, frustration and agony.  It sounds like King David was at rock bottom...at the end of his rope. And do I ever know that feeling! I can identify with King David on this one.

One of my dearest friends asked me the question, "How much patience do you have for the silence of God?"  I must admit that I had to stop a minute and consider that.  For those who know me well, I don't have much patience at all.  I am somewhat of a control freak in that I have to know a plan; if one isn't laid out for me, I'll create one!  It's both a blessing and a curse.  Immediately the passage of Isaiah 40:31 came to mind..."but they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run and not be weary; and they shall walk and not faint."  Do I have the patience to wait upon Him?  Do I have the patience to keep running the race of life and sometimes not know the direction I'm going?  Can I continue to put one foot in front of the other when I don't even know if I'm on solid ground? Do I have the patience to just listen to the silence?

God's silence cannot be taken as an indication that He doesn't want to answer my prayer or supply my need/want.  It doesn't mean He doesn't feel my hurt.  The Bible clearly tells me that I have a "high priest who is touched with the feelings of my infirmities..." (Heb 4:15) What seems to be His "inactivity" doesn't mean He has forgotten me.  I have to continually remind myself that His silence simply means He is working behind the scenes on my behalf.  I may want the answer now...I want the flashes of lightening and thunder from Heaven now so I KNOW what I'm supposed to do.  The reality is that it doesn't always work that way.  I need to learn to rest in what I know and not what I feel, because so many times I feel like He isn't listening to me, but I know that He hears me and wants the best for me.  His silence means He is preparing the best.

One of the things I find most interesting about King David is that He had a life that seems so parallel to mine.  He had joys, sorrows, grief, disappointment, betrayal, bitterness, anger, laughter, music, peace, contentment...see a pattern here?  He had the good, the bad and the ugly of life.  He questioned God; he even got angry at God at times; he had many moments when he didn't understand the plan of God...just like me.  But he learned to praise God in spite of his issues.  The final chapter of the book of Psalm sums up what King David learned...he learned to praise his way through to the end of his trials.  The final chapter acknowledges the "excellent greatness" of a mighty God.  We are admonished to praise Him..."let everything that hath breath praise ye the Lord...praise ye the Lord!"

**Dear God, I thank you that even when I don't hear you, see you or feel you

you are working all things for my good.

You know me better than I know myself.

You know my story - you are the author of my life.

Help me to trust that your silence means you are behind the scenes

preparing the good things that you have in store for me.

Wash over me with your joy, your comfort, your peace.

Allow my heart to be filled with your praise.

In Jesus' Name....Amen**

 

Psalm 37

During my devotion today, the words came to mind "the steps of a good man are ordered by the Lord..."  I couldn't get this scripture out of my mind...it just kept repeating over and over.  I was compelled to look it up, and as I began reading the entire chapter of Psalm 37, I realized why God wouldn’t let me get away from it.

The first part of this particular chapter gives us some very definitive instructions to live by.  I am a worrier...I tend to "fret."  I worry about my kids, my job, my future, relationships, other people's lives, finances...if it's a part of life; I find a way to worry.  I'm not a frantic person...I typically keep my calm to some degree, but I'm a thinker, a planner, a doer...so with that, worry just seems to come with the territory.  If I had a dime for every time someone has told me to stop worrying or stop fretting, the financial worries would certainly be over for the rest of my life!!  

The very first verse, the very first word, of this chapter begins with "Fret not..."  Hmmmm...ok, ok, ok...I get it!!  I'm not supposed to fret!!  The next part is what catches my attention the most, though.  The next four steps sound really simple...much harder to practice, but God has reminded me that if I would just do it...He'll take care of the rest!  Here's what I have to do:

1.       Trust in the Lord - He knows the end from the beginning; He knew me before I was even conceived in my mother's womb;

2.       Delight thyself in the Lord – He knows the desires of my heart, and He is faithful to finish the good work He has begun in me;

3.       Commit thy way to the Lord – placing my trust in Him is total commitment and surrender;

4.       Rest in the Lord – I can’t give up; I have to run the race that is set before me with patience and the ultimate prize in mind; I can’t look to my left or to my right and compare myself with others.

I was sharing this passage with a co-worker of mine in the privacy of her office this morning, and God began a deep work in me as we were talking about it.  He dropped this in my mind: the order (and we know God is about order) of the way he has laid out what we are to do is simply beyond amazing to me.  We have to first trust – without trust, there is no faith, and without faith it is impossible to please God (Hebrews 11:6).  Once we learn to fully trust and have faith, then we can delight in His word, His promises, His faithfulness to us.  Committing seems to be the most difficult, but I believe there’s a reason why it comes right before resting.  Committing takes an act of surrender; surrendering to something we cannot tangibly see or put our hands on. Once we do those three steps though…He promises REST – peace, quiet, tranquility.  We can rest in the comfort of knowing that He is working all things together for our good because we have placed our trust in Him.  

The rest of the chapter is insightful as well, but I fast forwarded to verse 23, which is what initially set me on this search.  “The steps of a good man are ordered by the Lord: and he delighteth in his way.”  I can’t compare myself and the events of my life to others. I know I’m a good person…I know what God has destined me to be.  It’s so easy, though, to get sidetracked by just LIFE in general.  When we get our eyes off of others, and off of our circumstances, we can then truly learn to delight in Him and His ways.  Although it may seem like the wicked is prospering, and for a moment they are (Psalm 73:3), but that is not the “good man” that David is referring to in this passage.  A good man is a Godly man – one who pays his debts, takes care of his family, puts the things of God above the things of this earth and keeps his focus on the right things.  He delights in the ways of the Lord…he seeks after the heart of God.  

What I’ve come to know, and experience on a daily basis, is that God really is my strength in the time of trouble.  When I follow His instructions, and I take the time every day to be mindful of His ways and keep His commandments, He is faithful and just to keep His promises to me.  I want to be the “good man” and delight in the ways of the Lord.  

**Father, your promises are so dependable...I don't have to doubt

your word...it is forever settled in Heaven.

Life comes at me from so many angles, and nothing

crosses my path that you don't already know about or haven't already

gone before me and paved the way.

Help me to learn your instructions...and not just learn them but 

truly settle them in my heart so that I may never forget them!

Help me to trust in  you, to commit everything in total surrender.

Help me to delight in your ways, and allow me to rest in  your promises

and the comfort of your loving arms.

Order my steps today and every day.  Allow everything

that I do and say bring you delight...in Jesus' name...Amen** 

An "Almost" Attitude

Sitting in a meeting this week, someone made this statement..."there is no such thing as almost right; it's either right or it's wrong!"

For most of us, we would think "duh...that's common sense!"  But, upon hearing that statement initially, my jaw dropped.  Now...it may not hit you like it did me; you may not see the profundity in it.  But let me tell you...everyone else in that meeting came back to that one statement when the meeting was over, and perhaps it was a "location" statement, because it made a profound impact on everyone of us sitting around the table.  It was said without a flinch, without batting an eye, and with the utmost calm and so matter-of-fact.

How many times do we do things "almost" right and let it slide.  How many times do others do things "almost" right to us, and we let it slide?  The statement brought me back to so many other things I've heard in my life..."it's black or it's white"..."it's hot or it's cold"..."it's in or it's out."  My daddy always used to say "closeness only counts in horseshoes and hang grenades."

That very statement caused me to look inward at my own life, my thoughts and my actions.  I immediately thought of things that I "almost" got right; things I "almost" did; or statements I "almost" made.  When I strip away all of the outer circumstances, I can see things for what they really are.  It honestly made me want to steal away and spend some time in prayer, asking God to forgive me for my "almost" attitude.

I don't want to get my relationships almost right...I want them to be as right as they possibly can.  I want to strive every day to be a better mother, Nana, sister, aunt, cousin, friend and employee. I want to wake up every single morning with a renewed vigor to give the day my very best...when I lay down at night, I want to rest assured that I have given it my utmost and not my almost.

**Precious Jesus...may I always be reminded of the ultimate sacrifice of your

best that you gave on the cross of Calvary.  Help me to be mindful

of giving you my very best.  Help me to refrain from looking

at things in an "almost right" sense.  I want everything

I do to be right in your sight.  I want to please you

with the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart.

Help us to respond to every situation that comes our way

in a manner that glorifies you.  

In Jesus' Name I pray...Amen**

Social Network or Social Destruction?

I am amazed by what some use Facebook for.  A platform that, I believe, was intended for people to connect, share photos, stories and help span distance between friends and family, has become so much more than that.  There are certainly those good components, and many of us still use it for that. I am grateful for those friends in my Friends List that I know I can count on for positive, uplifting, humorous, genuine and clean posts.  HOWEVER...as I read through pages and pages of News Feed of my friends, and I even get to pages of those who are not my friends but friends of others, I am more and more amazed at what shows up.

Facebook has become a medium by which a father tells his daughter he's suddenly married; it has been used as a means to destroy marriages; it has been used as a tool to cause friends to despise one another; it has been used as a resource to pit family members against other family members...all in the name of "social networking."  In these instances, I would choose to call it "social destruction." Have you ever really paid attention to the comments that others leave to some postings?  I feel like the more negative, condescending and gossipy a post is, the more comments and "likes" are made.

I have recently paid particular attention to one of my dearest friend's postings...I actually pay particular attention to everything he says, but his writings are far above the normal "posting" you see on Facebook.  Often times, his heart and soul are revealed in what he writes.  As I've gone back over and read and re-read his posts, I am saddened by the lesser amount of "traffic" his posts get as opposed to those of some others who are certainly not news- or note-worthy!  As a society, we seem to encourage negativity. Are we, as that society, so wrapped up in the negative news of everyone's life that we can't take the time to really stop and appreciate the good things that happen to people?  Before you comment on a post by someone else, or before you write your own post, take just a moment and remember who all might see what you're writing.  Who might it affect?  What is the "domino effect", if you will, of what you are saying.

We have all become so dependent on the use of technology to communicate with the people in our lives.  It is a sad thing to a degree; however, without it many of us wouldn't even have the opportunity to talk as frequently to one another.  So there is definitely some good to be said for social platforms, text messaging, Voxer...all of the things that are so readily available to keep us "connected."  Are you using those things to truly network?  Are your attempts at networking creating destruction and turmoil?  Just food for thought...think about it the next time you scroll through your Facebook pages.

Now...having said all of that...I am NOT going to delete my Facebook profile, or my personal page.  I find strength in some of what my friends post on here...I enjoy the inspiration that I receive when reading some things.  I enjoy sharing the things that inspire me and the words that God gives me to potentially help others.  I am awed by the fact that what I write on my personal status or my page, Reflections of Life, helps others.  Facebook has provided that opportunity.  The sad part is that those are the things that often have the fewer comments and "likes."  Whether I write them or someone else writes them...the good stuff doesn't quite catch our attention like it should.

By no means, am I intending to start a debate on the positives or negatives about Facebook or any other type of social network...I really enjoy having them!  I simply want us to be aware of what we do, say, write or think...and I'm pointing the finger right back to myself...I want what I do and say to edify, encourage, uplift, inspire...not destroy, tear down, self-destruct or cause another to stumble in their walk of life.

This is my prayer for today and every day...Psalm 19:14..."Let the words of my mouth, and the meditation of my heart, be acceptable in thy sight, O Lord, my strength and my redeemer!"  And James 1:19..."...let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak..."  What a difference this world would be if we all practiced that!

**Father...you have been so merciful to us and given us

so many tools and resources to connect to others.  

May we always use these resources to spread good news,

encouragement, joy and peace instead of strife, pain,

sorrow, gossip and negative thoughts.

Help me, above all, to be "swift to hear and slow to speak."  

Allow me to think before I react...

I want to "be acceptable in thy sight, O Lord."

Allow the things that I say help someone else in their

journey of life.  Helping others is a way that we

heal ourselves...we truly all have been so 

abundantly blessed and have so much to give.

Help us to see that in ourselves....Amen**

My Calling

As I sat in my office listening to Pandora on my computer, Chris Tomlin came on singing "Made To Worship."  I paused my work for a moment and flipped my screen to the Pandora site.  I brought up the lyrics to this upbeat, energizing song.  It was at that moment, that I think I fully realized my calling.  Oh sure...I know my calling, But let me tell you, my friend, there is a very big difference between knowing something and realizing it.  I know that with which God has gifted me, I know my talents and my abilities.  But those things only lead to my true calling...my destiny. What I realized as I sat there listening and reading the lyrics is that when I was called to do is so simple, that if I just do those few things, the "calling" will be beyond my wildest imagination!  All I have to do is worship, love, live in forgiveness and freedom, surrender and believe...are you serious??

I was made to worship, I am called to love, I am forgiven and free, I embrace surrender, I choose to believe.  In the midst of all of that, I see who I was meant to be; I see my calling; I find my destiny. The hard part of all of that is I get so bogged down in the day-to-day stresses, activities and burdens that it's so easy to forget my calling and my destiny.  It's so easy for me to feel insignificant, lost, lonely, burdened, grieved in my spirit and worried. It isn't easy to worship when life weighs you down; it isn't easy to love those who have hurt you, rejected you, betrayed you; it isn't easy to forgive the trespasses of others and live in true freedom; it isn't easy to surrender - our flesh sometimes fights that; and it isn't always easy to believe when the situation looks unbelievable, beyond repair and our faith is weak.

When I started this blog, I felt God calling me to share with others what He shows me on a daily basis. I believe He has given me an outlet to share my story with others to encourage them to stay the course.  I've gotten so many kudos, thoughts, encouragement, testimonies...and I am abundantly blessed to have that and so thankful - but the reality is that when what I write helps others, it helps me even more.  THAT is my calling...to be a witness and a light to others, to share the story of God's grace and mercy, to worship Him in spirit and in truth, to love others, to believe in the cause of His kingdom. 

I had to take a few minutes and blog my thoughts on this one! Work can just wait for a few minutes...when you get a true revelation what your calling is, what you are destined for, you will have to just stop and give it your full attention - precisely what I have done today.  I am so thankful for those moments I have with Him when my spirit and my mind can just be still and listen...makes a world of difference!

**Father, thank you for the ability to hear your voice, 

and the willingness to listen and heed.  

Even in the simplest of ways sometimes, you show

your wisdom, your grace and your mercy.  

You show your love for your people...I'm so thankful

that you choose to speak to us.

I pray that whoever reads this blog will be open to realize

the calling and destiny you have placed on their lives.

Help them to understand YOUR purpose for them.  

Help me to stay focused on the calling and purpose

that you, and only you, have designed for my life.

Help me to encourage others to do the same;

Help me to be a light in someone's dark world.

In Jesus' Name - Amen**

Who I am

"Take this time to get to know who Jacki really is." If I had a dime for every time I have heard this statement over the past two and a half years, I would be able to sponsor a trip to the Caribbean for myself and my closest friends!  I have gone so far as to say that "if one more person says that to me, I'm going to scream!!"

When some things in my life drastically changed in July of 2009, I believe that I did (at that point) need to take some time to figure out who I really was.  I knew the basics of who I was...but who was I really inside? What had the last 20 years of my life really yielded? Where was I headed? What did I want out of life? Where did I want to be in 5 years, 10 years, 15 years? The real nitty-gritty details.  So...at first, I was okay with people making that statement to me.  But...here's the reality...two and a half years later and MANY changes later, I know exactly who I am.  I may not have some of the other answers...like where will I be in 5 years, 10 years, 15 years, but I know how I'll get there and who I'll be when I arrive.

First of all, let me say...if you are the judgmental type, you may not want to read any further.  I have one Judge...who is the ultimate Judge...it is Him that I strive to please on a daily basis.  What I do, say or how I look may not be in line with what others want from me, but my Creator sees, knows and understands my heart.  That's where my hope in this life is secured. Above all, I am a daughter of the most high God.  I am His creation; I am His handiwork...He knew me before I was even formed in my mother's womb...I am fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14).  It is in Him that I live, I move, and I have my very being (Acts 17:28). When I remember those things, I am confident that He has His hand on my life...even in the darkest of times. I am a mother, a Nana, a sister, an aunt, a cousin, a friend.  I have my own "place" in each of those relationships.  Who am I?  I am a lover of people...especially those people that God has placed in my life.

As a mother, I am forever connected to two of the greatest gifts God could ever have given to me.  Although my children are young adults, and one is a parent even, I still am responsible to help guide them, to mentor them, to stand by them, to encourage them.  My life has to be an example to them. I have raised them...and although it is hard for me to let them fly on their own, the reality is that I now have to give them room to do just that.  I always try to tell myself I can save them from their own hurts, grief, pain and life events - I really can't.  I just have to trust that I've given them all the right resources and tools to cope with whatever comes their way and make the best decisions. 

As a Nana...I stand in awe of this incredible bundle of joy that God has entrusted into this family.  I have made a vow to God that I will take him to church every single chance I get, that I will teach him the ways of the Lord, that I will stand beside his parents and mentor them in his upbringing, that I will protect him at all costs, that I will share with him this wonderful legacy that his great-grandparents and family before him have left.  God amazes me in His infinite wisdom...He knew that I would need this little guy to help bring peace, joy and order to my life.  God makes absolutely NO mistakes or accidents...Kyndrick James Switzer is His creation and has a divine purpose on this earth.

As a sister, an aunt, a cousin and a friend, I am loyal to the end. I love with a fierceness.  I don't deal well with others hurting those I love. I believe in fairness, honesty and justice.  But...I am also human.  There are times when I'd really like a little bit of the vengeance that God says is His, and help him out with it.  Yes...I know I can't...but it sure doesn't stop me from wanting to!  I am passionate about the things and the people I love.  I am a romantic...I want to love with 100% and be loved with 100%.  At the end of it all, I am a realist.  

So...in response to those who continuously tell me to get to know who I am...I know exactly who I am.  What I don't know are the paths that life's journey will take me...God is still writing my story.  With Him as the Author, it will have an incredible ending!  He is with me...walking beside me...strengthening me...making a way of escape for me...lining up people and situations to bring me out of this tough place into a place of strength and victory (Joel Osteen). 

Still think I need to find out who I am??  Take it up with my Creator...ask Him to keep working on me because I am, as we all are, a work in progress!

**Father, thank you for allowing me the opportunity to above all know YOU.

You are my Creator and my Friend...you know me better than I

even know myself...better than anyone else will ever know me.

Allow me to stay true to the person you have destined me to be,

help me to walk out your will for my life.  Continue to place

the people in my life that you have designed for me to have. 

You are my rock, my strength, my safe harbor...

I realize who I am in you....thank you for that knowledge.

Amen...**

Friday Night Pity Party

As I sat in my family room on a Friday night, all alone, I was overwhelmed with a sense of loneliness. I have an incredible family...I have a beautiful daughter who lives in my home...I have an incredible son who's just a phone call away...I have the sweetest grandbaby in the world...I have more friends than I know what to do with sometimes. Yet...here I sat all alone, tears streaming down my face as I felt sorry for myself in my "situation." I felt isolated - completely cut off from people that I love, activities, events...all alone in my own little world of discouragement.

I began the pity party of a lifetime. As I allowed my thoughts to run rampant with all of the reasons why I should feel sorry for myself, I thought about the fact that almost all of my friends are married, with families and lives of their own - just like I was for 25 years. My single friends had plans - everyone had somewhere to be and someone to be with but me. Talk about a sense of doom!! In my mind, I went through all of the places I could have gone, the people I could have been with, the things I could be doing...but yet there I sat. All alone, feeling sorry for myself, wishing things were different, wondering "why me?"

In the midst of the chaotic noise of my mind, I heard a still, small voice...ever so gently...remind me that with Him, I am never alone. Even in what seems to be my darkest hour, He is right there with me. He will never leave me, He will not forsake me. My carnal nature then began to question those things that I had read in the Bible and heard all my life. If this were really true, then why in the world did I feel so alone at this point. Why did I feel like everyone had a life but me? Why did I feel like I had nobody in this world at this very moment? Why was this sense of loneliness overshadowing all the good things I knew to be true?

I suddenly realized something that sat me back for a bit...I couldn't feel His presence because I was allowing this loneliness to consume me.  Instead of just sitting still for a moment, breathing deep and allowing myself to let His love wrap around me, I was so busy trying to reason out why I was thinking and feeling the way I was. I was so wrapped up in this pity party, that there was no room for HIM to wrap His arms around me and let His love wash over me.  I needed to get ahold of myself and shake loose these negative feelings and emotions. 

I'm sure there will be more lonely times in my future...we all have them.  What I hope to have learned from this particular night, though, is that before I get myself all worked up in the pity that I can just take a moment to sit back, breathe deep, and allow His presence to wash over me.  Learning that simple, little lesson would prevent so much stress and distress...so then why is it so hard for us to learn?

**Thank you Jesus for being my provider, my friend...

you truly are everything that I need.  

When I feel all alone, and I feel like nobody else

in this world is available to me, you are ALWAYS there.

There is a comfort in knowing that I will always

have you to depend on.  So many times, I want things

that are tangible...things I can see, smell, hear, touch.

But the reality is that those things are great for the moment,

but they fade away with time.  People die, people leave us,

our friends go their ways, but you have promised that

you will never leave me nor forsake me; you will be a constant friend

that sticketh closer than a brother, sister, mother or father. 

I can rest assured in the fact that you love me and will 

be there for me regardless of how deep or how far I go. 

I'm never out of your reach.  For these things, I am truly

grateful from the bottom of my heart...Amen**

Secure or Complacent

I was privileged the other day to read a eulogy that my close friend did for his father. His father had actually passed away a few years earlier, but over the course of the last few weeks, he had spent a lot of time sharing with me some of his fondest memories about him and said he would like for me to read the eulogy that he had written.  I must say...it moved me deeply. 

First of all, I was moved by the sheer power of the words and the deep emotion that had been poured in to writing this incredible piece of art.  Secondly, I realized just how grateful I really was to have this man as a part of my life...someone who could so incredibly pour his emotions and grief in to something so special. After reading the eulogy, I also realized something that I had been hearing for many weeks.  This man was a clone of his father...who, by all descriptions, was truly a great man.

As I was reading the eulogy, however, there was a  very simple, short sentence that struck me.  "He was a secure man, but he was not complacent."  Wow! So many times, I think we mistakenly cross those two words and mix the meanings up.  So...as is my style, I decided to do a little word search, and here is what I found.

Secure, in the English language, and according to Webster's Dictionary, means "easy in mind, confident."  My friend, and from all accounts, his father, fit this description so well.  When we become secure, we can be confident, which simply is nothing more than assurance and self-reliance.  That, in no way, indicates that we do not need others...in fact, it's quite the opposite.  When we are secure, we're more than willing to accept the fact that others really can help us become even better.  When we are secure, we realize that the "code" that we live by is unshakeable; it's unmovable; it's NOT an option.  When others around us seem to be shaken by events that turn them upside down, we stay steadfast.  That isn't to say that we don't get shaken as well, but the reaction is so different.

On the other hand, the word complacent indicates that one is self-satisfied; they are okay with "status quo"; they are content with staying the same and never changing; one who is complacent tends to not reach out and find new people, new ways, new concepts.  Complacency often screams: "I've done it this way for years, and I'm not changing!"  People who are complacent have a hard time letting others in to their lives - their world - their environment.

As I began to put more thought to this comparison, I quickly realized exactly which one of those two characteristics I wanted to possess.  I realized that it is often easier to become complacent...we don't want things messed up in "our little world."  But with complacency also comes a stagnancy that I do not want in my life.  Stagnant minds don't expand; they don't learn new thoughts or concepts; they are not open to new people and ideas.  In other words, complacency is no place for me!

I like the feeling that being "secure" gives me.  I am secure in who I am; I am secure in my relationships; I am secure in my relationship with God; I am secure in my job; I am secure in my family.  If I were to tell you that I really am already there in all of those areas, it would not be honest of me.  What I have come away from this thought with is this:  I will live daily to strive toward those areas.  I will think myself secure!  I refuse to allow the spirit of complacency to mandate my life or my future!

**Dear God...thank you for the people you have placed in my life

to help me learn the things you desire for me to know.

Thank you for allowing my heart, my mind, my ears and my soul 

to be open to the things around me.

Daily help me to live secure in who I am, in my relationships

with those very people you have placed in my life and new ones to come, 

in who I am in you and in my walk with you; in my job and career and in my family.

Help me to live an honest and upright life before you...help me to be a light

to others who may be struggling with their sense of security or with complacency.
You alone can help us with these things...In Jesus' Name I pray...Amen**

Mistakes, Failures and Consequences

As I was listening to the local news on my way to work this morning, I was gripped with sadness at the stories I was hearing.  A hostage situation yesterday ending with a father dead and his son in jail; a fire on the east side of town rendering a family completely homeless and having lost everything; a couple in jail for producing meth...seemingly indicative of our society today.  I was thinking..."This is Terre Haute! Things like this are not supposed to happen in my community!"

As I felt a sense of overwhelming sadness at hearing these things, I couldn't help but think about the individuals involved in these catastrophes. We could sit and analyze all day what went wrong, how it went wrong, who was wrong...all those things, but the reality of it is that every single mistake we make has a consequence.  The son made the decision, for whatever reason, to go into his father's home, set it on fire, hold him hostage and then proceed to conduct a stand off with law enforcement.  The consequence is great...this young man will likely spend many years, if not a life time, in prison, and a family has lost a father, a son, an uncle, and a friend.  There was still life to live for both of them; however, with one wrong decision - a mistake - a failure, consequences are inevitable.  For the couple who were producing a harmful, illegal drug in their utility shed...they made the decision to obtain the ingredients to make this drug with the intent to use or sell.  Once again, one wrong decision - a mistake - a failure, will end with consequences for both individuals.  Children, parents, family, friends will all be impacted by each of these circumstances.  That impact will last a lifetime!

As I processed my thoughts through these events, I began to reflect on my own life.  I have made my fair share of mistakes; I have had my own large dose of failures; and I have paid, and still pay, the consequences for many of them. Some of my decisions carry consequences that not only impact me, but have impacted others, and will do so for many years to come.  As you continue to read my blog, you will see posts from time to time that reveal many of those mistakes and failures.  But...there is good news in spite of what may seem negative...

Yes...for every battle, there will be a scar; for every war, there will be casualties; for every pain, there will be a memory...BUT...For every wrong, there is a right; for every mistake, there is a fix; for every failure, there is a triumph; for every frown, there is a smile...and the best news of all is that FOR EVERY NIGHT, THERE IS A MORNING!

Even though the individuals I have mentioned in this post may seem doomed - they will feel doomed for sure, there can be good come out of their stories.  I have my moments when I feel doomed...but I refuse to allow myself to stay in that place for very long.  Because I know that for everything that I have gone through, whether self inflicted or just life circumstances, God can turn it all around and use if for His glory, which is my intent.  

Are you struggling with past mistakes or failures?  Do you feel like the consequences you are facing are overwhelming? If this is you, let me take this moment to encourage you.  Life can be so cruel sometimes, but we have a hope.  That hope is in the Father's love...in His arms, we are protected.  Does that mean we won't have troubles?  No...the reality is that we are human, He created each of us with a mind of our own to make decisions, and He knew full well we would mess it up most of the time.  And because He knew that, He gave His only Son to die for those sins He knew we would commit.  He gave us a Comforter to help ease the pain of the consequences we would face.

Regardless of what path life has led you down...whether you have made the choices all on your own, or out of a reaction to the choice of another, the Father is waiting for you.  As destructive as the behavior of the individuals at the beginning of this post may seem, He still loves them just as much as He does the rest of us.  In Acts 10:34, Peter proclaimed that "God is no respecter of persons."  What this tells me is that He doesn't really keep score of our past, our wrongs, our mistakes and failures.  He sees each of us daily through eyes of love and compassion.  He puts our sins into the sea of forget never to be remembered again.  There is nothing better than that, my friend!

**Thank you, Father, for the promises that you have given us in your word.

The promises that you'll never leave us, nor forsake us; that your mercies

are new every morning; that you cast our sins into the sea of forget; that you are

no respecter of persons and we are all the same at the foot of your cross.
I ask that you help each and every one of us today that struggle with 
mistakes or failures - each one that is feeling the sting of consequences
from their own past or the actions of others.  Let us all feel your
presence and your loving arms wrapped tightly around us.
Give us the strength to face each day with renewed commitment
to do your will and follow after you. Help us to use our mistakes and failures
as tools from which to learn.  In Your Name I pray...Amen!**